apocalypse is something aloe taught me.

in a dusty gray corolla, we listened to orchestras and choruses. we also listened to a man speaking about the end of the world, just one year away. when he heard this, aloe usually seemed to be at peace. but he would lecture me as well on what was about to happen. most things don’t matter when the world is about to end. it seems like the most prudent thing would be to guess about how it might go down. so that’s what we did.

the time came and went. i was slightly surprised that nothing happened.

as i grew into my rebellious phase, i looked back and saw this as folly. and as so many youth do, i converted to momentum. the acquisition of knowledge and fame would be my new god, everlasting. buddhism would also play a side role as something that i and all of my friends thought was cool.

recent events have brought back these old thoughts of apocalypse. (or is it just that i’m older? all changes of mind can plausibly be attributed to changes in hormones, i kinda believe..) i find myself looking for these memories i tried to throw away.

chrysanthemum once told me that chinese people were not worried about apocalypse. that doom is a uniquely western, christian concept. this made me feel a bit bad because christianity is parochial, insane, opium. and buddhism is woke, practical, japanese.

so is apocalypse real? or am i just getting old?